Strickland LIFE: I love them because...

The last few days have been a battle for me. When I'm in "MOM" mode I no longer feel like myself. Who in the world is this person mad about something every 5 seconds, grumpily answering the phone calls of her best friend, and fighting the urge to throw things? I find myself losing my cool, saying things I would never dream of saying to another person, let alone these adorable precious gifts God has given me to raise. I've had many thoughts the last couple of weeks that I'm not proud of. Many of which include sending one or more of my children away to be parented by someone more capable. Someone wiser. Someone more patient. Someone with more time to devote to follow through. Someone who can get through to my children in ways that I am failing misrebling at. Then today I was asked, "Mom, why did you have four kids if you don't have time to take care of us all?" This was after I was giving a serious lecture for the 15th time about how I don't have time to take care of the cute puppy Martin got for his birthday and how this is HIS responsibility. "I barely have time to take care of my 4 kids Martin." That's when the question came, and the answer was starring me right in the face. Four pairs of eyes, four sweet little button noses, four soft foreheads to kiss every day.

I had four kids because we wanted a family to love. And boy do I love them so much I can hardly stand it. Today I was determined to sit and think of the reasons why I love them if only to get out of this grumpy fog I've been in lately. So let's start with Mary:

She's easy because she's so cute. Chunky cheeks. Adorable smiles that take over her whole face. The sweet way she will gobble up her hand when her paci is too difficult to locate. Her sweet little lips when she sleeps and her already ever so slightly bushy eyebrows. It's hard not to love a baby.

Lincoln: The boy is fun. His crisp blue eyes, unlike anyone in our family. They are as big as saucers and glisten with mischief and laughter. I love him because he loves EVERYONE. We have visitors and he is the first one to the door to greet them. He is the first one to offer some form of entertainment. Hey! Look at me. Or better yet- look at this super awesome toy I just dumped out of my toy basket. Want to read? No problem! I have books galore!

His pronunciation of words gives me a good giggle most days. At two-and-a-half he can communicate most anything.

He gives the tightest hugs. Some of my favorites are when we are grocery shopping and he will hold me from his seat in the buggy while I push. He's a sweet little companion.

Emily: The beauty of that child. Her double dimples and straight teeth. The eyelashes that go on for days and her freckles and beauty marks that dance on her fair skin.

Her infectious giggle and her ability to do 100 cartwheels in a 20 minute setting. Those moments when I overhear her talking to herself as she uses the bathroom. Practicing in the mirror how she will play something out later or her bright ideas to share with friends the next day at school.

Her love notes that she leaves all over the house for her friends and family. "I love you mom." chicken scratched for the 50th time on a torn piece of random scrap paper folded and placed neatly on my night stand. She is a dear and quite the nice big sister when she helps Lincoln onto the trampoline or sings her made up lullabies to Miss Mary.

Martin: I love Martin because he is easy to talk to. You can have a real conversation with him and he walks away having learned something. You can trust that if he tells you a story you're getting the truth. Mostly.

He is organized. Mostly.

He can focus on a task and complete it.

He is on the brink of true childhood. Past the age of he doesn't know any better and onto new things like learning how to make toast and match socks, dress a younger sibling, and pass a spelling test.

He has gone from being adorable, to dorky, to handsome. I choose to dwell on the moments he puts someone else's feelings first. I choose to remember the silly moments where he runs to my rescue in a mommy/daddy tickle match.

I love him because... he is my son.